A lot of books discuss this issue—well, if I can say it an issue, haha—but regardless of those opinions, let me try to share my own experience (and friends’) about the relationship between men and women. This is actually the review of what Fik, Erika, and I have discussed in “Warung Makan Padang” last night, hhe, and also with two other friends when we were all in Rector’s villa.
Anyway, one thing making us confused is that the factors why women and men are fond of having a conflict. You can agree or disagree, but yes this is our perception and doesn’t represent public opinion in common. No offense 😀
God creates men and women each to his own destiny. Am I right? Sure. Many literatures say about gender equality leading us to decide what we should be. However, to some extents, both are absolutely different. Well, I won’t talk about that contemporary issue, hhe. Here I just want to share my confusion about why women and men sometimes fight each other.
Based on my experience, I can read that Men could think simply and complicatedly at the same time. When men and women meet in one discussion, for example, I see that men tend to think globally–meaning that they see something as a whole—particularly when they want to solve certain problems in a teamwork, they will think very simply and hate anything about details. Besides, pride is so important for men, they like to be honored when they have a brilliant idea (sure, the word ‘brilliant” is constructed by them, hehe). When there is a woman who is eager to dominate, they will feel attacked. “Men in common don’t like kinda woman who is too independent”, said Fik, one of the experts.
In contrast, I don’t know why women are more talkative than men in term of seeing a problem. Something small can be very very huge, a piece of cake can be a big snow ball according to women. It surely becomes a problem when they want to find the best solution to deal with. Morover, it might get sharper when the two are united in a marriage *azek. Something disturbing according to wife, is not really worrying for husband. Wondering, why?
In another context, the difference perception between them can be very dangerous. One of my boyfriends said, “let say, when we are single and adore someone, yes we will ask her whether you welcome me or not. But, when the girl doesn’t want, it’s just simple, men will find another, but women tend to be more dependable, trusty, full of hopes, anything. Sure men like to give attention to women till their heart is flowering *cuih*. But you, you, you, please don’t believe it much, once a man—with his poetic words or any attention he gives—leave you alone, you’ll be very stressful coz you might be wrong defining his action” And you know, we, women, when listened to his explanation, were very regret and reminded of something upsetting, haha
Then, in one training I participated in, my trainer said that scientifically, the corpus callosum (part of our brain) of women is thicker than men’s. As a result, women’s ability to remember bad memories is longer than men. When a man, for instance, give a bad memory to a woman, it is difficult to forget. So, if a man has a fair with another girl, women can’t stand it. Hey..hey..be careful of this, Men! 😀
Well, actually there are lots of differences I want to tell you guys, like report and rapport talk, spatial ability, and so on and so forth, but since this is the special case of how we can bridge an understanding to reduce any conflicts, I bring this to you. To suggest, please understand that we will always face the conflicts, we can avoid it off course. One thing I emphasize is that how we can build a good communication at the right time and the right place. Beside, positive thinking is needed to deal with such things. Believe that everyone has different characteristics and they are all unique. Finally, be careful for women, don’t judge a man from his cover. For the case I delivered, the more you know, the more you’ll be disappointed. Hehe.
But after all, regardless of this argument, I just want us to contemplate that in spite of the differences, it is a miracle that a man and a woman can unite in one SACRED institution. It’s amazing!